Three cheers for Facebook!!!!

Someone recently told me that I post too often on Facebook because I’m completely insecure and need "constant affirmation" from everyone around me. Ok, I’ve given some thought to this, since I am on a path to self-improvement and enlightenment, and like to give consideration to things pointed out to me by others, at least a little anyway. Insecurity is, by definition, a negative attribute, but really, what exactly does it mean? Let’s check it out according to Webster’s dictionary, shall we?

Insecure in.se.cure adjective \in-si-‘kyur\

1: not confident or sure: UNCERTAIN
2: not adequately guarded or sustained: UNSAFE
3: not firmly fastened or fix: SHAKY
4 a: not highly stable or well-adjusted
b: deficient in assurance: beset by fear and anxiety

-- in-se-cure-ly adverb
-- in-se-cure-ness noun
-- in-se-cu-ri-ty noun

Hmmmmmmm...I’m thinking that insecurity isn’t really a problem for me. I’m pretty much comfortable in most any surroundings with anyone, I’m confident, and my marriage is far from insecure. Wow, ok then, I think I can pretty much disregard this individual’s remarks (I sorta knew that) and tell her to keep her opinions to herself. Oh wait, I already did that, never mind.

So this facebook thing, let’s chat about it for a moment. My facebook friends list is long, not because I’m loved by any and all, but mostly because I have four distinct groups of individuals that I communicate with on a more than regular basis…other “bird buddies” (being that I am a “bird” person), my old high school buddies, my “funny” buddies – people I have met through my foray into comedic writing - and my “other” buddies. The last group is mostly local to me, and actually the smallest group of people I chat with on facebook, although a few of us are at it all the time, sometimes carrying on conversations for hours. In some ways, facebook is like a “party line” on the internet, which I love. I do like to keep my facebook circle of local people smaller, as facebook has that “nasty reputation” of spreading rumor and innuendo like wildfire. Funny, I don’t really have that issue with the other groups of facebook buddies, but it’s cool.

Mainly, I love facebook because it allows me to express myself openly, as much or as little as I like. I enjoy the “tit for tat” back and forth conversations with friends, which usually leave me snorting water through my nose from laughing so hard. Happily, I’ve discovered that I’m not the only weirdo with a ridiculously acerbic sense of humor, and copious amounts of sarcasm to boot. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself “GAWD, I wish I had known these people from high school were this hilarious when we were actually in high school.” The whole experience would have been way more fun, lemme tell ya.

I post because I have something to say...sometimes prophetic, sometimes silly, sometimes meaningless, and on the rare occasion, something important. Those who want to read it do just that. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don’t. I rarely have people leave nasty comments on my page, but if they do, it’s all good. At least I inspired some sort of reaction. It would be far worse to inspire no reaction at all. Besides, everyone is entitled to their own thoughts. Mostly it would require me to care, and often I just don’t. But if they feel better, then good for them.

Facebook has allowed me to rekindle old friendships, discover new ones, and keep in touch with my family and loved ones in a really meaningful way. I’ve learned of several friends’ passing within hours of their departure from this world, and we’ve all cried and reminisced together, right there on Facebook. There have been births, and weddings (even my own), photos of pets, children and grandchildren. How truly extraordinary it is to be able to feel so close to those who are hundreds, sometimes even thousands of miles away.

So to you, Mark Zuckerberg, while there is much that “tweaks” me about your little social experiment, on the whole I am grateful. You’ve added a dimension to my life that makes me feel very blessed.


See you on the dark...I mean Facebook...side.

If I were a man...I'd be gay...

for a variety of reasons but mostly because I would never put up with one tenth of the crap that women dish out on any given day. As a woman, I’m not proud of this fact, but I have tried hard to at least look at things from “the male perspective” from time to time. My conclusion? If I were a man, I would so be gay that I’d be dressed like Liberaci and belting out show tunes. Women are complicated, conniving, deceitful, manipulative, and downright bitchy – mostly they save this behaviour for other women, a fact that to this day mystifies me, and probably the reason why I only keep a handful of women close to me. Too many times I have stepped out of a dressing room to hear a “friend” say, “OMG, that is fabulous! And you know what would look really great with those gauchos??? Some knee socks and a pair of crocs!” Yeah, I wish I was kidding but I’m not. I’ve had friends that have a lifetime supply of ginsu knives just waiting to plunge into any woman they perceive to be a threat on any level. No mercy, go straight for the jugular. The crap women pull on each other defies explanation.

I do have a handful of friends who have withstood the test of time, and really been there for me no matter what the circumstances. We cheer each other’s accomplishments, and prop each other up when life kicks us in the teeth. We laugh together, cry together, and drink together…A LOT. We savour those moments when we can all look at each other and say with a huge amount of satisfaction “You’re a really great broad.” I love those girls. Female friendships should be celebrated, like a sisterhood. Wouldn’t it be nice if all women could treat each other with respect, and caring? But somehow, one woman always comes along who is so toxic that she poisons the water everywhere she goes. Women like that just piss me off. I can take a lot, but once they push me over the edge, that is when my “inner bitchy” comes out, complete with claws and the tongue of a viper. My tolerance for women who tear other women down so they can build themselves up is non-existent. These are the ones who should not have their “girl card” revoked, it should be shredded in teeny tiny pieces and forced down their throats.

I thank God for my female friends who shower me with love and support, including but certainly not limited to, my sister and my mom. There are others, and if they are reading this and smiling, they will realize that I am talking about them. I love you, admire you, and wish you nothing but beautiful days filled with everything wonderful that you deserve. Thank you for being there, for being my confidants, my champions, my family and my conscience. You remind me that among all the women who chronically suffer from jealousy and insecurity, there are some who are so secure in their own minds and hearts that they will not be dragged down to the level of those who are not as fortunate. In the end, you will always rise to the top.