Religion really has no place at this particuar table, so please stop serving it like it is the main course…

Well, here it goes.  I’m sure my “friends” number will plummet like a rock today.  That’s ok though. I’m hoping this will be “cleansing” experience for me.  I really need it.  So much this week has really made me sad and pissed me off in ways I did not think was possible. I need to get it off my chest, and I am sure it will anger more than a few. So, by all means, if you decide to unfriend me, please leave me a note that you are doing so and as to why, so I can block your ass, and you can forego stalking my facebook page.

Two words…gay marriage (friends list just dropped by a dozen or so.)

Ok, so let's review...those who stand on the evangelical right have made it abundantly clear that marriage between two individuals of the same sex is “wrong”, “perverted” and “against God’s will.”  They have a right to their opinion, and not once have I ever tried to change anyone’s mind who felt that way.  I don’t really care.  If you choose to live in your own little bubble then that is certainly your choice.  I live in a bubble of sorts as well, but generally speaking mine is a world of butterflies and unicorns, cute baby animals, and BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE, regardless of what religion you are, what race you are, if you’re a man or a woman or a hermaphrodite, or what your sexual orientation is.  I want to live in a world where everyone is entitled to the same rights as their neighbour.  I am pretty sure that God isn’t particular about those things either.  Go ahead, cite some Bible passage and tell me I’m wrong.  I’m not a fan of that Book, mostly because it was written from MAN’S viewpoint.  I don’t buy into the whole “handed down from God thing.”  I’m pretty sure God has better things to do with his time.  Besides, the real perversion is how individuals and religions twist the words of the Bible to make it say whatever THEY want it to say.  It is the ultimate Book of Contradictions, handed down to man by other men who thought they were the foremost expert on all things “God.”

I've heard it said many times that gay marriage “blurs the lines between church and state.”  Honestly, there is nothing “blurry” about marriage and where it falls legally.  Marriage is a CIVIL union.  You don’t have to be married IN a church to be legally married.  So the religious right should drop that argument immediately.  If you don’t believe in gay marriage, then that is your right.  Don’t marry a gay person.  Don’t belong to a church that allows for gay marriage (there are many that do believe in it, by the way.) It’s all up to you.  But the bottom line is pretty clear to me.  If two people are married in a civil ceremony by a government official, then they are pretty much…wait for it…MARRIED.  That should afford them, and their children, and their pets, the same rights as any other married couple.  It’s really not a religious matter AT ALL.  So to the evangelical right I say, keep your religion out of my personal life, my marriage, my friend’s marriages, and everything else that does not personally pertain to you.

How does two gay people marrying effect others who don’t believe in gay marriage?  Does it make them uncomfortable?  Are they unable to answer their children’s questions?  Are they afraid it is contagious?  Really, explain to me, Mr. Holier Than Thou, HOW it relates to YOUR life, YOUR value system, YOUR beliefs. The answer is it doesn’t.  You don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage between two women or two men?  Fine. But do not shove your ideological beliefs down the throats of the rest of us.  We really don’t care what you think. Why don’t you go to church, or bible study, or something…whatever you do when you’re not preaching to the rest of us about why we’re going to hell and you’re going to heaven.  By the way, if I actually believed in heaven, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to spend eternity there, mostly because none of my friends will be there.  We’ll be off playing with unicorns and chasing butterflies.  But I don't believe in heaven and hell.  In fact, I believe in reincarnation.  Shove that up your butt and spin on it for a while.

For the record, I am a Republican…a Republican who is sick and tired of the extreme right dictating the Republican agenda and making us all look like complete idiots.  I don’t subscribe to much of what is being bandied around in the press as the "Republican agenda", and it makes me really really angry that Republicans are all falling under the same ridiculous label of  “religious right.” I'm not one of those people. I don’t judge when choosing my friends.  My friends are a brilliant beautiful cross-section of people from all types of religious, ideological and political backgrounds.  They are of different sexual orientations, different colors, and hail from a long list of different countries.  The one common thread that runs through my list of friends is their ability to accept others at face value without judgment.  I am proud to have these people in my life that I call friends, and they are just as much family to me as my own blood relatives. To them, I want to say thank you for giving me faith that there are kind, compassionate and wonderful people in the world.

To those who carry the cross of religion but still allow of the possibility of gay marriage, please don’t be offended by my rant, as clearly it is not directed towards you.  I salute you.  It is by far braver to go against the grain than follow the masses. My beef is with those who insist that “their way” is the ONLY way, God’s way.  

In my opinion?  God is probably very disappointed in “their way.”  God doesn’t create bigots.  Bigots create bigots.

I am totally “pinterested” in everything you are “pinterested” in…

I wonder if it is possible to get yourself “uninvited” from Pinterest.  I’ve been on the site for a little more than a week, and already I am hooked like a drug addict.  Pinterest is the “crack” of the social media world in ways that facebook will never be.  I am finding that if I don’t get my “pinterest fix” at least three or four times a day, usually five to ten minutes at a clip, then I start to break out in a cold sweat and have to reach for a cigarette…and I don’t even smoke.

One of my “guy” friends asked me about the whole Pinterest craze, seemingly clueless about why it even existed.  I immediately felt sad for him and sent him the link, only to realize that this completely heterosexual person who is more than secure in his manhood, probably would log on and think I had completely lost my mind.  Men don’t get it, and I’m not sure that they are capable of understanding.  In fact, I saw an article that stated 31% of Pinterest users were men.  I can pretty much tell you that out of that 31%, ALL of those men are gay.  That is not a dig at gay men. But only a gay man could appreciate the instant visual gratification Pinterest can provide.  Pinterest is fantasy football for women and gay men.  Straight men hear about it, but they don’t understand it, so they think it is stupid.  I feel much the same way about fantasy football.  By the way, if any of those gay men on Pinterest are looking for a new friend to shop with and give fashion advice to, please contact me.  I need a good male gay friend to hang out with from time to time.

Pinterest…hmmm…how to explain it.  Ok, so you know how when you go to the nail salon for a pedicure and you sit in the chair with every intention of closing your eyes and relaxing?  But then you can’t relax, so rather than stare at the poor woman slaving over your feet, which haven’t received proper treatment since the end of summer, you reach for a magazine on the table next to you.  It could be any magazine – Vogue, Cosmo, Metropolitan Home, Light Cooking, it really doesn’t matter.  It is something to occupy your brain rather than fixate on the ten layers of dead skin that is being removed from the soles of your feet.  You glance through the pages, dog-earring all the things you love and secretly plot how to sneak the magazine out in your purse, or tear out the pages you’ve marked.   It’s visual, it’s interesting, it requires very little thought process. (Wait, that sounds a lot like the way men look at porn.) This is what Pinterest is ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE, without the annoying subscription postcards falling out all over the place.  It is a series of “boards” where you can pin everything you love, everything you want to cook, make, wear, and travel to before you are too old to board a plane. You can use the suggested boards that Pinterest provides, or you can create your own boards.  I have boards for gardening, jewelry, shoes, hot men, and cute baby animals.  I’m sure I will be adding more when I find things to pin that fail to fall into the current board categories.  It's also so exciting to discover that your friends are Pinterested in the EXACT SAME things you are.  I'm pretty sure that my group of girlfriends are going to be going to Greece or Montenagro very soon, since it is on all of our Pinterest bucket lists. I don't know where Montenagro is, but apparently I am going to L O V E it.

And here is the kicker - people can “follow” your pins and you can follow other people’s pins.  I’ve pinned and repinnned so much stuff to my boards from other friends' boards that I have enough information to dress like a supermodel, cook like Julia Child, apply makeup like an artist, travel to all four corners of the earth, and plant a garden that Martha Stewart would envy.  Of course, I have done all this in my head.  Nothing has actually happened yet, but I’ve got the information right there, at the ready for when I decide to build that addition on the back of my house, or make my own habanero bacon vodka.  And I’m going to do it, all of it, and everyone will think I am amazing, especially Bill. He doesn’t even know what a renaissance woman he is married to, but he will find out…soon, very soon. 

Three cheers for Facebook!!!!

Someone recently told me that I post too often on Facebook because I’m completely insecure and need "constant affirmation" from everyone around me. Ok, I’ve given some thought to this, since I am on a path to self-improvement and enlightenment, and like to give consideration to things pointed out to me by others, at least a little anyway. Insecurity is, by definition, a negative attribute, but really, what exactly does it mean? Let’s check it out according to Webster’s dictionary, shall we?

Insecure in.se.cure adjective \in-si-‘kyur\

1: not confident or sure: UNCERTAIN
2: not adequately guarded or sustained: UNSAFE
3: not firmly fastened or fix: SHAKY
4 a: not highly stable or well-adjusted
b: deficient in assurance: beset by fear and anxiety

-- in-se-cure-ly adverb
-- in-se-cure-ness noun
-- in-se-cu-ri-ty noun

Hmmmmmmm...I’m thinking that insecurity isn’t really a problem for me. I’m pretty much comfortable in most any surroundings with anyone, I’m confident, and my marriage is far from insecure. Wow, ok then, I think I can pretty much disregard this individual’s remarks (I sorta knew that) and tell her to keep her opinions to herself. Oh wait, I already did that, never mind.

So this facebook thing, let’s chat about it for a moment. My facebook friends list is long, not because I’m loved by any and all, but mostly because I have four distinct groups of individuals that I communicate with on a more than regular basis…other “bird buddies” (being that I am a “bird” person), my old high school buddies, my “funny” buddies – people I have met through my foray into comedic writing - and my “other” buddies. The last group is mostly local to me, and actually the smallest group of people I chat with on facebook, although a few of us are at it all the time, sometimes carrying on conversations for hours. In some ways, facebook is like a “party line” on the internet, which I love. I do like to keep my facebook circle of local people smaller, as facebook has that “nasty reputation” of spreading rumor and innuendo like wildfire. Funny, I don’t really have that issue with the other groups of facebook buddies, but it’s cool.

Mainly, I love facebook because it allows me to express myself openly, as much or as little as I like. I enjoy the “tit for tat” back and forth conversations with friends, which usually leave me snorting water through my nose from laughing so hard. Happily, I’ve discovered that I’m not the only weirdo with a ridiculously acerbic sense of humor, and copious amounts of sarcasm to boot. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought to myself “GAWD, I wish I had known these people from high school were this hilarious when we were actually in high school.” The whole experience would have been way more fun, lemme tell ya.

I post because I have something to say...sometimes prophetic, sometimes silly, sometimes meaningless, and on the rare occasion, something important. Those who want to read it do just that. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they don’t. I rarely have people leave nasty comments on my page, but if they do, it’s all good. At least I inspired some sort of reaction. It would be far worse to inspire no reaction at all. Besides, everyone is entitled to their own thoughts. Mostly it would require me to care, and often I just don’t. But if they feel better, then good for them.

Facebook has allowed me to rekindle old friendships, discover new ones, and keep in touch with my family and loved ones in a really meaningful way. I’ve learned of several friends’ passing within hours of their departure from this world, and we’ve all cried and reminisced together, right there on Facebook. There have been births, and weddings (even my own), photos of pets, children and grandchildren. How truly extraordinary it is to be able to feel so close to those who are hundreds, sometimes even thousands of miles away.

So to you, Mark Zuckerberg, while there is much that “tweaks” me about your little social experiment, on the whole I am grateful. You’ve added a dimension to my life that makes me feel very blessed.


See you on the dark...I mean Facebook...side.