Moms and daughters...it’s a relationship washed in tears, dried in understanding, and wrapped up in a love that defies explanation. In particular, I believe the love between a mother and daughter is not for the faint of heart. I look at my own mother, and realize that while I love her more than any other woman in my life, I caused her endless amounts of pain and grief, worry and anger. It was not something I intended to do, and I have spent many long hours trying to understand my actions and choices as I wandered through my life, sometimes zig-zagging around like a drunken fool. In the end, it all turned out just fine, but WOW, what a rollercoaster ride!
Mom and I have come to a point where, after all the struggle, we are left with a deep and abiding love for each other, a mutual respect for our differences, and a friendship that will carry us through for the rest of our lives. I am thankful for that more than anyone could ever imagine. Along with my sister, she is the person I trust implicitly to be supportive, and more importantly, be honest, even when it isn’t exactly what I want to hear.
Why is it that mothers and daughters have such tempestuous relationships? I can see the power struggle starting to evolve with my own daughter, which makes me cringe at what the next several years will bring. I don’t want to be a bitch, and I’m pretty sure she does not want to be a pain in my arse, but so often that is where we end up. Thankfully, both she and I are quick to forgive, and our arguments are short-lived. But they are becoming more frequent, and that part is hard. She wants to be a “teenager.” I want her to stay my “little girl” forever. It’s hard to reconcile the child with the “almost woman” that I can see just around the corner. She is a lot like me, and that right there, is good AND bad, all at the same time. All I can do is give her the tools to make intelligent and thoughtful decisions, and teach her that the greatest gift we can give others is our compassion. To that end, I am very thankful. I am blessed with a daughter whose heart is as big as the ocean, and who’s level of common sense is greater than many adults I come in contact with on a daily basis. She’s stronger than me when I was her age. She stands up for herself and what she believes in, and she doesn’t let the world push her around. Another thing to be grateful for, as it will serve her well in a world full of disappointment and hard knocks. I hope when Tricia is older, she will realize that all I ever wanted for her was the best of everything.
My own mother has made me a better mother, a better person. I have watched her all my life, with an immeasurable amount of admiration for all the adversity she has fought and overcome. I’m so proud of her and her accomplishments. Truly, she is one amazing broad. I just hope she knows that in her own heart. All I want for her now is to be happy, and make choices for herself that are what SHE wants. She has spent a lifetime as a caretaker for so many. Now it is time for her to take care of herself. I tell her that every time we talk.
To my daughter, even when you think I’m just your “mean old mom”, know that everything I say and do if for your well-being. I love you more than you could ever understand.
To my sister, I look at you with such love and respect for the mother that you are. Your selflessness and devotion to you children in nearly unparalleled. I am in awe of you. You are one of my very best friends, and I love you.
To my mother, well, you know how I feel. We’ve had the conversation many times recently. Ours is a bond rooted in something really extraordinary. You didn’t have to love and accept me when you married Dad. But you did, and it changed my life. You saved me, Mom. I love you.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the women in my life who inspire me in so many ways. We are all mothers in one way or another, and we are all deserving of beautiful things.