Someone posted a picture today that really made me stop and think about perceptions and the definition of beauty.
Now, let me pose a question. Who can really tell me something physically attractive about any one of the women in the top row? By the way, it should be noted that the “fat one” in the top row, (2nd from left) is Nicole Richie. Now how scary is that? Wasn’t she getting torn apart in the press before giving birth to two children for being anorexic? Now, she’s not even the skinniest one “in the room.” I’m not sure how a lot of you feel about it, but I certainly do not want my daughter emulating any of those four women. They look sickly, malnourished…they look like they need to eat a damn bacon cheeseburger and a half gallon of Edy’s Double Fudge Brownie ice cream. I don’t care if the camera puts ten pounds on you. These women need to gain thirty pounds.
The bottom row of women…wow, now that is what women are supposed to look like – curvy, voluptuous, sensual, feminine. Not one of them looks like, well, a boy. They have hips and boobs, and they look HEALTHY. I don’t know of one man in the world who would pick any of the women on the top row. My Bill calls women like that “bone racks” and would rather hug a tree than some underweight toothpick. I love that about him, about all men really. Men don’t set women up for the impossible. Women do.
Think about it, who do women dress for? Other women. How many women live on a diet? I don’t know about you, but practically every woman I know is striving for “skinny” even though they won’t admit it. I’ve been guilty of this myself. Then I realized what a poor example I was setting for my sweet impressionable daughter. What exactly was wrong with the way I looked? Nothing. All I know is I would often compare myself to the woman on the front of the magazine cover who has been airbrushed to perfection, or I’d walk into a room and think to myself “Is she thinner than me? Is my ass bigger than hers?” Mistake. And inevitably I end up seeing a photo of myself (because who isn’t snapping photo these days) and think to myself, “I look great. What the hell is my problem?” No matter how perfect you strive to be, chances are there will be someone who seems “more perfect” whatever the hell that is. Women are their own worst enemy. Women live in an uber-competitive world where the most perfect woman wins, and the rest are left to feel inadequate. My friend told me about a conversation he had with a woman who stated “whenever I enter a room I have to be the hottest one there.” What a sad existence. What happened to being “the nicest” or “the most compassionate” or the woman with a heart so big, everyone is in awe of her? I refuse to do that to myself any more…NEVER AGAIN. My husband, my daughter, my friends, my family – they all love me just the way I am. If I die tomorrow, what does it matter? Are people going to walk by my coffin and say, “too bad she’s dead, because it’s the thinnest I’ve ever seen her.” Not likely. I HOPE they will think, “wow, she lived a wonderful life, and was an amazingly giving person.”
Don’t get me wrong, I am no advocate for obesity, in fact I believe it is one of the biggest issues with the overall health of Americans. What I am is an advocate for “healthy.” News flash…skinny does not automatically equal healthy. Ask Karen Carpenter about that one…oh wait, she’s dead thanks to anorexia…never mind. Healthy means living your life in a way that promotes well being, both physically and mentally. When you are healthy and happy on the inside, it always shows. Beauty is rarely about physical appearance. Beauty shines from within, and that is what makes a person beautiful.
Three cheers for the women bigger than a size two or four. Say what you want about Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, or Christina Aguilera, and a few others that are in the public eye. They make no apologies for their curves, and are, in fact, really quite happy with them. I applaud them for not being bone thin, for being real about their bodies. You want to be healthy? Live your life in MODERATION and strive to find your “happy place” within yourself. I promise that if you can do that, you’ll find that the person looking back at you in the mirror will be one of the gorgeous women in the world, inside and out.