Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says "Oh shit, she's awake."

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I hate the “new” facebook...

Understand, while I consider myself a forward-thinking person, I do not personally like “change” to my everyday routine, and facebook is a large part of that routine. It’s usually the first thing I check in the morning, and I often have it running in the background at work all day. My friends are there, my family is there, even my cockatoo has her own page. I love that I can virtually keep up relationships with the click of a few buttons. I’m nosey. I like to know what is going on in everyone’s world. And I’m opinionated, so I like to let the world know what I’m thinking. What the world does with my opinion is really not important to me. Believe me, I’ve had many people tell me to take my opinions and shove them up my a$$. It’s all good…love me or hate me, but at least I inspire a reaction.

So I truly sympathize with the millions of people whose lives were thrown into utter chaos by the changes that facebook made. It was horrible, simply the worst thing to happen this week. It made the local and national news. I’m pretty sure that Congress will be convening a special session to discuss these changes and then do nothing about them. I’m surprised the Pope did not jump on the bandwagon and condemn this as the Devil’s work. It was all over everyone’s status messages. My facebook world was littered with comments, criticisms, jokes, and diatribes devoted to the “new” facebook. It was ugly, and for a while it could get uglier. According to sources in the all-knowing media, this is merely the first in a series of facebook renovations coming in the next weeks and months. Word on the street is that the Powers That Be in Facebookland are making the changes because facebook’s user base is becoming “emotionally detached” from the site. Instead of wanting to be on facebook, we are now somehow forced to be on facebook because it contains most of our daily world. Are we that pathetic? Does Zuckerberg really believe that we will all curl up in a ball and die without our beloved facebook? I, for one, would probably manage to overcome the trauma of losing my social media life. It would involve alcohol and a certain amount of crying, but my world does not revolve around facebook, at least not completely. Is it important? Absolutely. Is it a necessity? Well, not really. My biggest concern would be how my classmates and I would plan our 30th reunion without Facebook. I have an amazing amount of high school friends on Facebook. Out of all of them, I have a handful of phone numbers and addresses. Without facebook, I would have no way of tracking them down and checking to see if they were having a good day or a bad day. I wouldn’t know if their dog had crapped in their living room, or if their kids were driving them crazy…oh, the travesty of it all.

Facebook has made me lazy. I no longer pick up the phone and call many of my friends to check on them. And while I know the right thing to do is send a handwritten thank you, it’s just too dang hard to dig up a stamp and drop it in the mailbox, when I can leave a handy dandy “thank you” right there on their facebook page. Facebook allows me to “cheat” when it comes to such things. And the funny part? Everyone seems to be just fine with that, because they cheat too. We all cheat, then we pat ourselves on the back for leaving messages and birthday wishes and condolences on our friends’ pages, when the truth is, a phone call would really be the right thing to do.

I’m not maligning facebook. Anyone who knows me will tell you that, in my case, it should be called “facecrack” because sometimes it really is an addiction. But I’m ok with that, since the end result gives me so much pleasure. And, for the record, I have no problem with a thank you left on my facebook page. Save the stamp, save a tree.

So here we are, left with our forever-changed facebook. And apparently there is no going back. We subscribe to the good and bad, the right and the wrong, the motivation and the laziness that facebook provides us on a daily basis. I do believe that the pros outweigh the cons. I’m not happy out the changes, but then again, it is free, and really, how can I bitch loudly about something that is my choice. If I don’t like it, I could leave. Of course my entire social network would collapse and Bill would find me huddled in a closet, sucking my thumb, and drinking vodka out of a paper bag. But instead, I choose facebook. I will adapt, I will embrace, and I will continue to drive all my friends nuts with my goofy posts. I must be doing something right. I don’t see my “friends” numbers dropping like a rock.

So next time you see my page, don’t forget to hit my “subscribe” button. Not sure where that is? Top righthand corner, right next to the “message” button…one of the many changes coming to a facebook page near you.

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