I hate September 11th but I am writing this for
my 14 year old daughter who is blessed to not have been old enough to remember
that day. But it is important to
explain, to pass along the stories, the emotions, the tears and the loss. It is important that we never forget.
No matter how many years go by, it is still always the most vivid,
gutwrenching and sickening feeling that surrounds me when 9/11 rolls
around. Thirteen years seems like it
should be a long time. To me, it’s
yesterday, as it is to so very many.
Everyone has their “where were you” moment on that
morning. For me, it was an incredibly
beautiful sunny day, just me and my two year old daughter out in the back yard
of our Alexandria home. I was clipping
herbs to take to a new neighbor whom I was meeting for coffee at her house
around 10am. I’ll never forget how
beautiful the sky was that day. Perfect
really.
Out of nowhere, I heard the loud rumbling of thunder, really
really loud. “Weird” I thought to myself. Seriously not a cloud in the sky. It never even occurred to me that it wasn’t
thunder.
I gathered the child, gathered my herb basket, and headed to
Jackie’s house. She had the TV going and
was glued to it. By this time, the third
plane had hit the Pentagon, 9:37am, and the first tower had just fallen, 9:59am. Then the plane crash in Shanksville, 10:03am. There was so much all at one time, and I
couldn’t even comprehend what was happening. It didn’t seem real, more like a
movie. The two of us just sat there, tears running down our faces. Jackie’s husband was on Capitol Hill and
couldn’t get out of the city. Rumors of another plane headed for D.C. were
being tossed around. My cell phone rang.
It was Gary. He was supposed to have
been at a meeting in the wing of the Pentagon where the plane hit, but it was
moved at the last minute. He was driving
on 395 not a mile from the Pentagon when the plane slammed into the
building. Suddenly the thunder made
sense. It wasn’t thunder at all. My heart was in my throat. Then cell service shut down. Jackie couldn’t
reach her husband. We sat there
together, in silence as we continued to see the news reports roll in. The second tower collapsed, 10:28am. I felt
physically sick. All of those people,
their children, wives, husbands, parents, sisters, brothers. Cameras rolling. That awful “tweeting noise” breaking the
silence of the streets of NY. It was the
radios of the firemen and police officers.
I can still hear that tweeting noise when I close my eyes and think of
that day.
Jackie’s husband did come home, as did Gary. It was actually Gary’s birthday but there was
no celebration. We just watched the news
reports roll in, the footage of the injured, the horrible gray dust that
covered everything and anything. The gaping
hole in the side of the Pentagon…the field in Shanksville where it seemed the
plane itself had turned to dust when it hit the ground with such unbelievable
force. I didn’t sleep for days, I just
watched the news, all the news, any news I could find on the tv. It was the early days of the 24 hour news
cycle, and I believe that after that day, none of us ever watched the news in
the same way again.
The following weekend I had plans to see an old high school
friend in Caldwell, NJ, just across the river from the downtown Manhattan
skyline. That Sunday morning before I
left, she and I drove to a park that overlooked the river and the
devastation. We stood there and cried as
we watched the billowing smoke, still rising from the ruins, on the other side
of the water. The Towers, where I had been many times to meet up with a banker
I dated a long long time ago when everything seemed easy and fun. Happy
memories, good times. All gone.
Everything changed. Everything. We all, collectively as a nation, wrapped our
arms around each other, and tried to make sense of it all. There was no sense to be made. None. It still
doesn’t make sense. The loss of life,
the terror that we all felt for such a long time afterwards…no one felt safe,
only incredibly vulnerable. Honestly, I
still feel vulnerable.
But out of the madness emerged something good…so many acts
of selflessness, courage,compassion and humanity. People helping people, helping
families find their loved ones, helping recover the smallest of personal items
of those that had perished. Everything
had meaning and importance, because there was so little left to even show that
those who perished had even been there on that morning. Everything was dust, everything.
Twice I have had the privilege and honor to visit what has come be
known as Ground Zero since 9/11. I have
driven past the Pentagon on many many occasions, and in fact saw the Phoenix
rise from the ashes and rubble, like it had never happened, save for a
beautiful memorial park where there is an empty seat under an individual tree for
each person who lost their life. I have
not had the opportunity to visit Shanksville, but I would like to one day. I should, everyone should. So brave were the souls on that plane who gave
their own lives to keep pure evil from flying that plane into the White House
or Capitol. Were it not for so many acts
of courage on that day, so many more lives would have been lost.
And those who, without hesitation, signed up for the
military after 9/11, how special they all are.
They loved their country so much that they did not even hesitate to die
for it is bravery beyond compare. They
go and fight so we can live our lives under the flag of a free nation. Even on our worst days, America is good. I know there are many who no longer believe
that, but look around. There really is
still so much good in the world. I am
thankful every day to call the United States my home.
God bless the souls lost on 9/11, and subsequently those
fighting to make sure that history does not repeat itself. God bless the
firefighters and police who worked tirelessly to bring home those who were
lost, so that every family could at least find some measure of closure. They still suffer from the effects of the
conditions they worked under…cancer, respiratory problems, other diseases that
cause them suffering every single day.
God bless them all.
And God bless the United States of America.
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