Anyway, one of my dearest friends is wrapping up her move to
Maine. In actuality, she has been up
there since last fall, but just recently sold her D.C. condo, so now I guess
it’s permanent. (Insert my bitchy resting face here.) I was hopeful that somehow she would not sell it, thus
giving her an excuse to come back here periodically, but alas, my hopes have
been stomped on by the D.C. real estate market.
She’s all packed up now, and will be leaving next week. Am I sad? Yep, although not terribly
sad. I refuse to say goodbye to this
awesome woman, and priceless friend.
We’ve only known each other for a few years, but I feel like I’ve known
her a lifetime. I also know that no
matter how long it is between conversations, or how many miles between, she
will always be there, and vice versa. Why? Because she gets me, and all the
neurotic/crazy behavior that goes along with knowing me. Besides, I’m not
losing a friend. I am gaining a new vacation spot, and that can’t be all
bad. And I have heard her bragging about
the outlets up there. Shopping is a good excuse to visit.
Being a Yankee girl, going to Maine isn’t terribly
frightening, although they do talk funny up there. I know they say wicked a lot. I shall try to
incorporate it into my vocabulary so that I am comfortable using it in any
situation. “It’s wicked cold out today”
or “That’s some wicked big hair you are wearing tonight” (only she will get
that reference) are two fine examples of how I can use “wicked” in my every day
vernacular. I also understand that when
someone dies in the winter up there, they have to “keep them on ice” until the
spring thaw because they can’t dig holes in the ground to plant someone in the
winter (keeping them cold shouldn’t be hard since it’s cold as BALLS up there in the
winter.) Hell, just throw grandpa out on
the back porch until the ground defrosts. Therefore, I think it’s best if I
only travel during the temperate seasons, in case I croak while visiting. I don’t
want to overstay my welcome. I think summer is on a Wednesday in July but I
will have to verify that. Maybe it’s a
Thursday, I don’t know. I know it’s not much longer than a week at best. I shall take lots of snuggly clothes with me
just in case the weather turns quickly.
I’m going to see her this weekend before her departure, which will give
me the opportunity to remind her that she will no longer need all those
fabulous summer designer duds, so she should just leave them with me. I will take good care of them, and make sure
they are worn only in fashionable and appropriate situations. We wear about the same size, so we might as
well make the most of it, eh? Which
leads me my next question. I know they say “eh” a lot in Canada, which is CLOSE to
Maine. Does that mean they also say “eh”
like they say “wicked”? Damn, it’s like
learning another language.
So to you, my big-haired fabulous friend, I wish you much
love and great happiness back home where you truly belong, although it really
doesn’t work for me, but whatever. I
shall love you anyway. Expect a visitor,
and make sure those sheets on my bed are high thread count. You know how high
maintenance I am. Not "goodbye" but "see ya later alligator".
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